I’ve been working at my family’s restaurant ever since high school, and it’s fair to say I’ve met every single type of customer. For every year that I’ve been working, my patience has been getting thinner and thinner. Now, I’ve finally cracked and this is a much needed rant. To all of my readers who’ve worked in customer service, I’m sure you’ll agree with me and also find this entertaining.
1. Please, for the love of god, look at our menu first before ordering/calling
2. Don’t call me for your personal matters to get in touch with a customer
3. Speak clearly and enunciate your words…don’t talk to me when you just woke up or you’re high/drunk
4. Stop putting me on speaker. Turn it off, hold your phone to your ear and speak to me properly.
5. If you use a third party website, don’t complain to us as to why you’re having problems..call the company!
6. If you’re ordering for a group, don’t call first then have everyone decide..I don’t have 10 hrs to wait for y’all to decide
7. Stop customizing your entire order…we have a menu for a reason
8. For fucks sake, learn some phone etiquette
9. If you’re an uber driver picking up an order, don’t call us to come outside. YOU COME IN.
10. If I tell you you have to pay upfront, why are you refusing to? Either way, you have to pay
11. If you ask me what are your options for an item, and I list it all out…why ask if we have something I didn’t say?
12. Be patient PLEASE
13. If you’re a regular, you don’t have the right to do whatever the hell you want
14. If you don’t have enough change for what you ordered, don’t think I’ll let you go because of that
15. Don’t yell on the phone thinking I can’t hear you, I CAN FUCKING HEAR YOU
16. If you’re banned, stay the fuck away
17. Don’t stop me in the hallway or bar or even outside and make an order with me, we have a spot for that. So stand there!
18. Stop entering into employees only areas. If you need assistance, WAIT OUTSIDE AND WE’LL ASSIST YOU
19. Please don’t make small talk when you’re placing an order on the phone, I’m never in the mood.
20. Why the fuck are you bringing outside food into the restaurant
21. Stop complaining about being charged extra for EXTRA things that you’re ordering..not everything is free
22. Stop thinking that the delivery charge is the drivers tip..tip them!
23. BE SPECIFIC…for example, don’t just say you want shrimp when we have fried, grilled, or steamed shrimp and there’s several different dishes to choose from!
24. If I repeat the order back to you, LISTEN. Don’t call me back saying you didn’t get what you ordered.
25. Stop calling for no reason, you’re wasting my time!
26. If you order in person, stop running off to someplace and not coming to pick up your order for hours AND THEN complain that your food is cold/soggy
27. Don’t talk to me rudely, wtf did I do to you
28. Dear Uber drivers, stop feeling offended when I ask to see the name/order on your phone. Don’t expect me to hand off an order blindly if you just tell me you’re here for UberEats. I’VE BEEN PLAYED ONCE. NEVER AGAIN.
29. Stop acting as if the total is wrong because it’s higher than you expected. Improve your math and also, there’s a thing called tax
30. If we’re not a full service restaurant, don’t expect full service treatment
31. Stop being soooo fucking CHEAP
32. THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME. GET A LIFE AND STOP LOITERING
33. (Personally, I hate being hit on at work and I get really uncomfortable) Don’t hit on me. Tell me your order and let me be done with you.
34. To my regulars, don’t you dare walk away without paying and then have the audacity to not remember the next day
35. Stop playing the same horrible music EVERY SINGLE DAY
36. You know how they say there’s no stupid question. That’s wrong. Don’t ask me stupid questions. Example: you ask me how long is a ft long cheesesteak and you show me a length that is easily 3 ft long, c’mon dude…
37. Stop ringing the fucking bell just because you want to ring the FUCKING BELL
38. If I tell you it’s going to take about 15 min for your order to be complete, don’t expect it to be ready in 5 min and demand for your food
39. Don’t stare into the kitchen like a fucking hawk
40. Please know how to read and comprehend. You’d be surprised how many customers don’t understand an item on the menu after explaining it to them 3 different ways.
41. Don’t steal. I repeat, DON’T STEAL. Are you that bored with your life that you had to steal our bell?
42. If you say you want it for here, but change your mind, tell me earlier before we plate it (way to waste dishes)
43. Answer your phone if you’re expecting a delivery! Also, make sure you give us a valid phone number
44. Don’t call yelling/bitching about how you’re missing an item when I know you received it and confidently say you checked and don’t have it then moments later, you call back saying you got it. GO FUCK YOURSELF.
45. Don’t always expect that you’ll have a full refund just because 1 or 2 items was not correct
46. Why the fuck are you bringing food that you bought elsewhere into the restaurant
47. PLEASE DON’T PAY ME IN CHANGE ESPECIALLY IN ANY CHANGE SMALLER THAN QUARTERS…DID YOU BREAK YOUR PIGGY BANK TO DINE HERE?
48. Customers are not always right. Get that in your head.
49. If you’re a regular, don’t expect I’ll automatically give you discounts
50. Don’t disrespect me and I won’t disrespect you.
TL;DR: FUCK OFF
nasusan 